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Ok im 14 and im trying to improve my writing skills and whats the best way to do that?……practice and criticism! so i wrote this tonight. Ive editted a few things that people have said needed changed and added more to it! please give your opinion! any help is greatly appreciated!!!!!
Preface
Dearest General Wolfe,
What sin am I guilty of that is so disgraceful, so appalling that such a tragedy should befall me and my brother. Are you to say that the slaughter of my mother and father was some cruel punishment? Were their lives really so meaningless that murdering them was such a mindless act to you deranged barbarians? I see no justice in what you have done. My family has done nothing to deserve this. If someone must pay let it be the person responsible for the crimes that you assume have been committed. Fear is but an illusion you use to further torment your prey. You obviously enjoy this mindless game of massacring innocent bystanders. that have Done nothing more than be an acquaintance of the person being prosecuted. The blood you have shed today was that of two pure and innocent people. I have not been involved in any felonies you have accused me of. It is this association that is at fault and I along with all of my comrades are prepared to stand up and take arms against you. This is your only warning of the upcoming blood bath. You alone can stop such a monstrosity from happening. Until that day.
Accused criminal and leader of the rebel troops,
William E. Ahlstrom
Never did I imagine that my peaceful haven would be exterminated. I believed that I would live happily with my kind, caring mother, my intelligent, but often misunderstood father, and my dear sweet younger brother who I would give my life to protect. We are known as the Ahlstrom brothers. William Edward Ahlstrom was the name given to me at the time of my birth. Two years later my mother gave birth to my brother Alphonse James Ahlstrom. My brother and I began a terrifying chapter of our lives that day. My story is not a happy one full of flowers and children frolicking about. It is dark, sinister, and it will show you just how happy and carefree your life is. This is your last chance to close this book and turn around for know my story begins.
Beginning of story
It was just you average day. Clear skies so blue I could have sworn the Pacific Ocean was hovering above me. Red birds fluttered freely in the garden that surrounded my family’s home. I sat in my room pondering the meaning of life, as I often did. I stared at the large ***** in the wooden floor below me remembering the time I dropped my favorite globe on the ground. Ordinary is most definitely not the accurate description of me. My mind is a free spirit, not tainted by the modern technology and useless manufactured object that today’s entrepreneurs try to sell to the feeble minded simpletons in our current society. My younger brother Alphonse was much like myself though he hadn’t been given the common sense that I relied so much on in later years.
I need a pen name for my future as a writer. I am a woman in her 30s and a bit of a free spirit, and I want it to sound successfull and attractive and memorable.
Here’s some ideas but I’m open to suggestions!
Sierra Taylor
Sierra Evans
Alexandra Evans
Taylor Evans
Arianna Evans, Adrianna Evans
Alex Adair, Anna Adair
Sedah Alexander
(or any combination thereof)